Annoying Consultant Speak

In the past week I have sat through several process type meetings and must reflect on some of the most irritating consultant speak. Here are a few examples.

Rapid cycle process improvement
The model of improvement is applied in short test periods, using small samples of patients, and measures the effectiveness of the changes being tested. Based on what is learned, successful interventions are applied to other patients or other organizational activities or settings and unsuccessful ones are revised and tested again for effectiveness. You usually hear it when a new manager or director takes over from the outside or your existing manager goes to a conference. Murse’s Translation. I went to this cool seminar and heard this great idea and since I don’t really know anything about statistics or study design and we don’t have time to do a real study were going to implement this new process and if by the end of the day it works were going to do it throughout the hospital. Then were going to put it in a power point and present our great success to the CEO. I love the smell of a bonus in the morning.

Perfect is the enemy of Good Enough
The origins of this phrase are from the French Philosopher Voltaire. In modern times it seems to appear during crunch time of hospital IT projects. Go-Live is just a few months out. The team is feeling nervous and wants changes. The CIO calls a big meeting and gives a power point pep talk to get everyone "on the same page". Then it comes out, “You know, when it comes to rolling this out, Perfect is the Enemy of Good Enough. Murse’s translation: “Lets put some lipstick on this pig and roll her out. Stop you’re bitching, the users will just have to deal with the issues”. Ok, we know its never going to be perfect but can I ask: Did you use that same term when applying for your job when asked to describe yourself? How about when you proposed to your significant other, or do you say it to your kids just before finals or the big game? Doubt it. I’ve decided that at the next EMR Go Live that I support I will wear a team t-shirt that says, Perfect is the enemy of good enough! How about that on a team shirt. The users will be impressed.

Studerized
Being Studerized is similar a baptism in the Studer Group philosophy. I suspect there is Cool Aid being served at this baptism. Hospitals thought-out the country are sending their staff to various vacation resorts for $1200 a pop, not counting lodging and travel for the 2 day Studerization. By the end you are a customer service expert. Patients become Customers. You become experts in scripting the survey and how to change the patients perception of the visit. You are eager to go back to your hospital and implement the Three Levels of Studerizaiton. When you get back you will be filling out report cards on each other and identifying your departments high, middle, and low performers. Hope I’m not in the low group. Wow, I’m pumped. Pass the Cool Aid.

I'll update this list from time to time, shouldn't be hard I have more meetings this week.